OPTIONS & ATTITUDE

How are we coping with life five months into this strange restrictive reality? My attitude fluctuates, but I’m trying to see what options I can exercise.

Staying home has benefits

I’m here when things happen. Yesterday, I watched a doe and a young fox play in my back yard. The fox apparently transgressed some boundary the doe had defined for her fawns and the game was on. Fox could just run a hundred yards and allowed the doe her space but it was a cool morning.

They ran around the spirea once and Fox sat down just out of her reach. Doe huffed and lowered her head. Fox jaunted to the mimosa tree twenty yards away. Doe’s tail raised in alert position, she trotted toward him. He sat again, looked over his shoulder then back at her. Stood and lowered his chest like a puppy. Pounced side to side, paused for her response, then gave up their game to trot into the woods. Doe watched him go, lowered her tail, and walked away, happy her domain was recognized.

I would have missed all that.

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I’ve had time to rethink racial issues. The multiracial classrooms my kids entered when we moved to Kansas City seemed beautiful to me in 1988; multicultural gatherings here in Kansas City today still do. So I decide to mute corporate media sound bites and focus on real conversations over virtual platforms and in person with my close friend of another race. Listening and sharing perspectives always help clarify, not fog, current troubles.

I discovered James Baldwin. I missed the cultural issues of the Sixties while on the farm, so I’m pretty ignorant about cultural icons of those times. But noticed his name on a book cover behind a person being interviewed and chased it to YouTube. What a beautiful heart and articulate mind.

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Access to learning. I used to run to the library 2-3 times every week. Writing group meetings, speakers, shelves and shelves of books. Now I schedule similar webinars, virtual discussions, and presentations – my week is full. I’m hearing impaired, but within a virtual platform, I can hear every word. If I double book my calendar or miss one, it’s usually recorded so I can catch it another time. Geography is no impediment either.

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Limitations I’ve imposed on myself have made me aware of what I can do without. Sometimes I get all cleaned up to run a few errands, just like the old days. Before I get in the car, I pause to weigh a trip into public spaces against potential loss of health. In that pause, I recall everything I’m grateful for, reassess my current resources, then I drop my car keys back in the basket and settle myself down.

On the other hand…

Sadness and concern live here too. I’ve cancelled a trip to hug granddaughters far away. Cancelled a flight to Edmonton to connect with close friends and little ones up there. I try hard not to fret over the health of each and every family member that populates my heart. I’m getting the place ready for my next of kin to deal with. I miss talking to my family, adult kids especially.

I miss the live music jams around town. The mind-blowing ability of local talent seemed available every night of the week and weekend afternoons for the price of a beer and a tip. I worry about their gig-based income.

To counter the effects of these real but negative emotions, I try to choose better options to focus on.

I choose to consume current events mostly from written sources. Two or three newspapers and The Economist weekly magazine. It stands to reason that someone who has taken pains to write an article has also taken pains to research and clearly communicate the issue. I choose to consume material that doesn’t tell me what to think, but offers information that will help me think.

I choose to turn down the volume on chaos and up the volume on calm. When diseases like politics, Covid, and brutal racism agitate and scare me, I change my focus. I stream with Roku or YouTube, not to seek light diversion, but to step up to my own buffet table of video with a discerning attitude. I’m not strapped to my chair, not victim to pharma and automaker ads nor to sound bite commentary. I proactively decide whose voice I allow in my head. I’m the gatekeeper of my mind and I do have options.

I can sew another mask and I don’t need to be someone else’s problem. I can choose to call this my “home place” and express gratitude for it by how I steward its workload. I can choose to focus on a few simple joys of living here – that helps my attitude. I can turn up the music, thaw a package of elk from the freezer, and shoot a little pool.

I’m choosing to see the days and weeks of my calendar like mile markers – this is a long trip.

Choosing to walk at dawn and focus on that sky. It’s the same stunning sky.

What options can you practice these days?

What good things have you discovered?